HarVesT-ConNect

Back in Black

2011-08-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

Hello!
I find myself back here again...with good thoughts!
I've been thinking to myself yesterday and today...just wondering about the future. There are so many possibilities waiting for me at the other side of the world, and I wont give any excuses to run away either. There are so many things I yearn to do after the army. I mean, this isnt my 'life', its made up for more then this. This is just a phase, OCS i mean. A challenge, just like any other, but maybe more unique then what I encounter every other day on a 'normal non-army day'.
I want to study, travel the world, get married, be a professional physiotherapist, drive a nice car, live in a nice house, take care of my parents, take care of my grandparents, have kids, play tennis, sing-make music. In all this, and including God in the process.
Of course I give a shit in what I'm doing now. I give everything I do my best efforts, and sometimes when its not good enough, I just take the shit for it. Have i taken such things to heart, yes I have....will I take it to heart any more...no. You know why? Its because I know this isnt my life, and there is so much more in store for me and my future then packing my items in a clean zip lock, sharpening my parang, having a clean field pack. whatever it is...they will try their best to screw us...and they will screw us. 'll just deal with it, then move on.

On a side note. I now have a 'love' interest...but I dont know if im too interested. =(

Real

2011-06-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

I'm finding love in strange places.
I find my self attracted to girls I never knew I would be attracted to.
But I like this feeling again? The feeling of lost, unresponded love...if you can call it that.

I want this to be real.

Sedi-yah!

2011-05-16T13:26:00.000+08:00

Welcome back to Blogging.
It seems such a long time ago since my last post. But in actuality, it has been only 4 months. I feel as if time is playing a prank on me, that eventually it will speed up and cover up for lost time. But no... I feel only this way because I'm in the military. A place I don't want to be, doing the things that I would rather not do, eating food that I dont like to eat, staying awake at times when I want to sleep. But this is the army, and this is my life. I only pray to God for a positive mind set. Something that can help me look forward to living this kind of a life. A motivation for me when I book out, and a motivation for me when I book in. What is this motivation? I know it all too well my self... but its not my time and season yet. She will come along someday, and when that one day comes... I promise that I will not take her for granted. It will come...hopefully it will come soon.

My worries and troubles increase every time I think about my future education. What do I REALLY want to study? But mostly importantly: What schools can I get into with my grades? I admit, I'm not exactly a model student. My grades are average, and I didn't excel in sports...what to do with my life?

For now, I am considering business and accountancy. Another prospect, other then physiotherapy. But for now. I dont want to worry about such things. For now, all I want is her.

Bon Voyage

2011-01-02T13:19:00.000+08:00

Good bye for now Darice! We hope to see you soon in the near future. But in the mean time, stay true to who you are and who you want to be. God bless in your studies.

Sending off a long time friend reminded me of the time my own friends sent me off when I went to America. The excitment, anticipation of a new life. Altogether a good/mixed feeling of nervousness and happiness. I can't help but begin thinking about my own future. Where am I going for college? Where does God want to take me in my education? Whatever it is, I want to remain faithful and place my trust in God. I want to dream big dreams, and I can only hope that these big dreams will someday be my reality.

I've caught the travel bug, and there is nothing I can do to make it go away.

Christmas

2010-12-25T22:48:00.000+08:00

Christmas doesnt feel the same as usual.
There's no warm feeling. No nostalgic feeling for the holidays. Its missing something...
It must be the cold, frosty air. Or the smell of turkey baking in various houses, or the lights lit up on every house. Or it must be the total ambience of the starry night sky, mixed with the chilliness of the air, along with the aroma of 'christmasy' delights that floats into my nostrils with the help of a small but nippy wind. But, maybe not. Maybe it's the excitment of waiting for the day to come. Maybe its the anticipation of celebrating with my family, with a tree, lights, the christmas special on tv playing. I'm missing all of these, because I'm spending christmas in a tropical climate, where the radio doesnt even bother to play christmas music on this special day. Yea, christmas is about Jesus' birth, but come on. Don't fool yourself, thats not the only reason we celebrate christmas. We celebrate christmas because it takes our minds off the daily routine of life. Its that one special day when families and friends gather together, and make merry with one another just because. The true feeling of christmas is being with each other, in your perfect memory of what a christmas day should be. The festive season extends beyond december 25th. After all, there are 12 days of christmas.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Its COMING!!

2010-12-15T23:06:00.000+08:00

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year is coming soon! I love Christmas time..
Its the season when..I'm, genuinly happy. I feel peaceful and happy for myself and the people around me. This year Christmas will be with family and friends. Rachel won't be around, but I wish her the best Christmas even away from family and the Best Birthday. Lots of Love Rachel.

Must do's for christmas:
1. Listen to christmas music.
2. Watch christmas movies.
3. Be with family and friends.
4. Eat ginger snaps.

Its a christmas tradition for me to watch Love Actually. I've seen it every christmas time, ever since it came out. The movie is amazing, well thought out, especially for a hopeless romantic such as myself. I truely yearn for the 'waiting at the arrival gate' moment. Spectacular feelings...thats whats important...love.

Singles on and off The Court

2010-12-10T11:47:00.000+08:00

Quiting my job has to be one of the best decisions i've made in 2010. I feel less stressed, worried, angry. Now I feel free, a real sense of joy playing tennis full time. Investing in, which i dream, for a future in sports. I want to achieve so many things in this lifetime...I'm sure others out there feel the same way. 'So many things to do, but so little time to do them.'
My last tournament was terrible. I'm not gonna put down my opponent, cause he beat me..but I feel a little cheated. Why? Why when I pray so much, and visualize myself holding up that trophy, do I still lose? It's at moment like these that I wonder if God is still around, and is he still holding on to the promises that he has given me...its all spiritual cliche I know, but its all real too. This is how I feel, and this is how I'm gonna write it. I feel Cheated. After i lost in straight sets 4-6, 4-6, I just left the courts. There was nothing good to say besides...What the Fuc*-in my mind of course...It was then, at that moment, that I felt lonely as ever.. No one knows besides me how much tennis means to me. Its a dream, a fantasy of mine to make it big in the sports industry. And the only way that i know how is to play tennis. There's no one i can talk to who will understand my state of depression after a loss, my loss of interest when i suffer a defeat. Come on, I'm not one that cant take a loss...I'm no sore loser. I wouldnt be mad if my opponent and I played well, and I still lost. But the fact was...I didnt play well, my opponent wasnt better then my best...it was just an overall bad competition. What else can i do but moan and complain? If you say 'Learn from your mistakes, you'll get better'..well then most likely you dont understand the impact of the game. If you play like crap, whats there to learn? Its just a bad day, a match played at the wrong time. There's nothing much to learn except...just keep playing and putting the ball back. So...I complain. Nothing to it...after this, I'll be back on the courts firing forehands crosscourt, placing backhands down the line, Serving up a storm, and vollying like i've never vollied before. Tennis is a mental game, its a lonely sport. But I love it, and it loves me-sometimes.

I cant help feeling that sense of loneliness. I need to get a girlfriend. A nice girl that I can talk to after a rough day, or talk to everyday in that matter. I just want to hear her voice, comforting me, celebrating with me, just talking to me, and vice versa. I want to hear about her day, encourage her when she's down, laugh with her over lame jokes...I need that 'someone'. If only finding, and getting were so simple. How do people do it? Does it start over a friend ship first, or does it happen spontaneously? Whatever it is...something good has to happen for me...it hasnt for a while now..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU....

2010-11-13T23:58:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBSON!
- From this point onwards, you are just getting older and older, and there is no stopping it. However, its not such a bad thing. Growing older just allows you to become exposed to more things. You are, to simply put it, a talent. The works you do with your hands, the designs you creat are wonderful and creative. I believe you'll have a great future ahead of you. I also thank God for your friendship. In any case, friendship means the world to me, and you know that. I appreciate all that you have done for me, and with me. Thank you for your brutal honesty, you dont see many people out there that will tell you the truth...as it is. Plainly said: I Love You bro. HAPPY BIRTHDAY once again.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARICE!
- Its all written in the card! =) I thank God for your love and voice in my life. If you ever doubt your abilities and talent, just turn and look to me. I am who I am today, partly because of you. Because you invested your time in my life, because you invested your love in my life, I am ALIVE...I am LIVING...I am able to LOVE GOD with all of my heart. My foundation has been built by people like you, who have been a positive influence. I LOVE YOU cuz, stay safe..and never lose sight of the prize God has set ahead of you.

HOPE

2010-10-31T14:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Father,
Thank you for this Awesome message today! It's been a while since I've heard a refreshing message. But thank God, today was the day my cup overflowed. In and Out I go, and finally, long as I have waited, You came to me. Thankyou for this revelation. This new word, a refreshing thought that reminds me of your love for me. Blessed be your name! My hope is in you. For every aspect of my life, I place into your hands with faith. That what ever happens, Lord I pray for the best outcome. With my hope in you, I pray that your mercies will rise, your blessings will come. Thankyou Lord, that I am able to give my heart to you wholly. You are the great and mighty king, my friend, my father. I believe that my hope in you for the future will bear new fruits, great fruits. Let me experience your salvation all over again. Thank you God.

Amen.

LORD SAVE ME

2010-10-24T21:39:00.000+08:00

It is in this distinctive moment of my life that I'm feeling dry. My bones are dry, my spirit is dry, my heart is dry. I'm in a state of confusion. ALmost everyday, I'm wondering to myself 'whens this all going to end? Will I finally feel sane again?' It's a battle of my emotions. Not exactly swimming agains the current, but trying to find a river to swim in. WHERE ARE YOU GOD? But I know you are always right beside me.The problem is, this time I'm going through a phase. This desert that I'm in, feels dryer then ever. Remain optimistic Shaun, victory is always at the end.

Fill me God. Fill me when my heart is broken for you. Fill me when my heart is already empty. I Shout out to your from inside: "GOD! SAVE ME FROM THIS!" All I long is for your presence. the presence that sustains my soul. I'm not asking for a sign nor a miracle, I'm asking for your love to fill me. From your word, let my faith be restored. Revival is here, I know it is here. I can't see it, but I trust it. No other way lord, but I'm still pressing on.

I only wish that others can come to know of your love God. I believe that LOVE overcomes sight.
Fill me God.

Old Stories Told

2010-10-13T10:11:00.001+08:00

Its been a while since I've blogged. To much as it seems, I dont feel the need to blog any longer. Blogging used to be an essential. A place to harbour my feelings and my opinions of the world. It was a place where i could come and place down my thoughts onto a page for every one to see. But now, I dont feel that any more. However, i will continue to blog, because this is my creation. My world.

I feel that the excitment in my life is slowly depleting. Maybe its because im sick. Sick of work, sick in the body...sick. Its the same movement every day. Answering calls, serving customers, doing paper work, the same thing every day. But the good news is that I get to hang out with good friends on and off. Speaking of friends...ROBSON, thanks for hanging out with me bro! I know sometimes you may get sick of it, but really...its always good to hang out with someone that understands you and who you are. And share the same values, such as Christian values,outlooks on life, people, and someother and some rather inappropriate things. But its all good! I have something to be grateful for, and thats you're decision to bring me back to church again. You didnt force nor hate me when i didnt go, or was lazy to go. Although I made the decision my self, I want to thank God for your friendship, and love to bring me to church again. =)

I love God. I love church. I love everything about CHC, except for the past when i forced people to go to church. hahaha, thats right. I said it. I realize that a relationship with God cant be forced. It can only be introduced through love and good concern. =)

I always remind myself that I am blessed, always. No matter what circumstances im in, I can rely on my great pillar Jesus. Going back to CHC only reminded me of my feverance for God. It was truely refreshing to feel the REAl presence of God. No more pretending, no more faking. I just pray that I get things straight, I genuinely want to seek after God's heart. My this may seem a little cliche, but i dont really care what the world thinks. Its just like pastor says when we're worshipping "dont worry about the people on your left or on your right." Im forgetting what people think, I'm just going to worship God my own way, the only realy way i know how.

Peace out

PPeace out for now!

Singapore Char Siew Bao

2010-09-01T20:56:00.000+08:00

The YOG closing ceremony was AWESOME! =)
It was definitly a great end to the fantastic inaugural Youth Olympic Games. I can only wish for such an experience.

I Finally got my Driver's License!

YOG!

2010-08-15T21:23:00.000+08:00

I feel so Proud to be a Singaporean!
First things first. National day was a great day for me. Its was the first day in years that I sang the national anthem and said the pledge. Little did I know how much of an impact it had on me until that day. When I sang the song, my heart was rested. In my mind was a thrill, an excitment I hadnt felt before...the nostalgia of being back home. I dont want to be cornny, but "this is home, truely where I know i must be."

Next thing, The Youth Olympic Games! Its pretty exciting for Singapore to host this historical event. The first ever YOG, and it's taking place in Singapore. Hello people? Wake up! =) Smell the roses, look around you, there is no greter satisfaction for a country then to host a special event for the whole world to participate in. I mean, this may be the youth of olympics, the happy meal of mcdonalds, the jr.whopper, the shuffle of the ipods...but this, is GREAT!
I experienced my first olympic event today, and better yet, I was there to cheer on my cousin Cheryl in the 50m breast stroke. She didnt do too bad, made it to the semi-finals...didnt make it into the finals. Her best event in still to come this friday, the 200m breast stroke! Im extremely proud that she's now an Olympian. LEGIT. I wish I had a camera to take snapshots of my memories...

Wedding Dress

2010-08-04T22:00:00.000+08:00

Attention Readers

2010-08-01T21:55:00.000+08:00

Fellow bloggers,
Its been a long time, and we've stayed strong. We braved the winds of torment, we suffered the pains of defeat. We fought for all be believed was right, by our words we shed some light. We were the ones who caused the great divide, between what is black and what is white. They say that the pen is mighter then the sword, that words can pierce the heart of men and change the way the world rotates. A smooth motion, or a smooth flowing phrase is like symphony only the writer can imagine. We have taken a stand for what we want, what we wish for, what be long for. For this I congratulate us for being stronger then the world. For this I congatulate us for being the ones who spoke for a dying voice. The voice of the people, the voice of man kind. We are stronger because we speak our mind, we are free because we blog our emotions. Thoughts are complicated, further more complicated when kept alone, unshared, un-nutured. This is the symbol of what was meant to be.

I've been blogging for a long time now. This is probably the most commited I've been to anything..ever. I cant imagine how I had this going for years now. What puzzles me most is how I can always come back for more...just to keep on writing. This blog is my home page for crying out loud. Everytime I go on the internet, I hear Colbie Calliet's sweet voice singing my favorite song.

Life moves so quickly...I havent noticed that I've been working for a month now. I made a couple mistakes...ones which i probably have to pay for later, but I learned some valuable lessons on being extra careful, and being meticulous.

If anyone has a camera and hang out with me, please bring it along with you to take some cool "friend shots" I see on facebook all the time. Its time I'm with the IN crowd. Plus I really need some Singapore pictures on my facebook.

Sea Water Poetry

2010-07-24T21:09:00.000+08:00

Today,
I went Wake-Boarding.
It was awesome.
I biffed many times.
But I loved the feeling of riding the water.
I want to do it again.
Thank you Gellenbeck Family.
Sweetness

Rice Wine

2010-07-17T19:03:00.000+08:00

Its been another week at work, and this time more stressful. I dont know why, but I always feel the need to hurry for the next customer. From their perspective I can understand that waiting is intolerable. The que number is like your greatest enemy. As time ticks by, you can no longer be more patient then the guy in front of you. But what I can say is...look at it from my point of view. I'm try my hardest to get to you as fast as I can. Regardless, I have to serve you before I can leave work...so I want to do it fast too.

Today I met Robson and we went to Orchard. I don't really like crowded places, but Orchard wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The vibe was still there. So after a couple of hit-and-miss for a place to eat lunch, we finally settled down at Fish and Co. in Heren. It was pretty empty there, just like the news paper had reported....just my kind of a place. I have to apologize to Robson for being so picky about food, but money must be spent wisely for those who have few. I hope after I get my pay, I'll be able to sit down and enjoy my earnings over a nice bowl Unagi Rice and a bottle of Sake in a cool Japanese resteraunt. Of course I also look forward to saving, so I can have money on hand whenever I need it.

I haven't worked out in weeks, and it feels like my muscles are slowing growing inwards. HELP!

The Job Pays

2010-07-11T20:29:00.000+08:00

Here I am after a week of work. I realize that working is kind of like school, but more for my own interest. I mean, if only going to school would get me paid... I got a job as a customer service rep. for LG notebook. Thanks to my mom and aunt who got me the job, other wise I would be selling soap products at a low paying job in The Body Shop. The job is simple-complicated. The easy part is talking to customers and listent to their complains and taking their notebooks in for repair. The hard part is the paper work, and there's tons of it...we literally kill a tree a day with all the paper used.

Besides that, my only free time is saturday after work and sunday. So this saturday I hung out with Robson- at VIVO hahaha. Im starting to think that he likes the place more now. Got some japanese food that day, and it was alright. Any one knows how to deal with acne scarring?

A Series of Events

2010-07-06T18:28:00.001+08:00

First of all: Happy Birthday Kimberly!

Alot has been done in the past few weeks. I finally signed up for the BTT, which I hope I'll pass so I can get my lisence! After the medical check up, Robson and I went on our anticipated Bro Date. Although it wasnt as much fun as going on a real date (with a real girl) I still had a pretty good time. We went to Vivo, which Robson hates for some reason, and just walked around. I tried out MARCHE. Its some kind of a swedish restaraunt, and the food was pretty good and cheap. Its on the roof if you want to go check it out. Pretty much everything after that was raoming, until we got to Starbucks...where things got a little bit interesting. Some white lady yelled at the Starbucks dude for bad customer service, and stromed off without her coffee and cake. I felt really bad for the starbucks dude...but fortunatley, the lady made a fool of her self rather then him.

So Sunday I went to church. Met some old friends like Ivan, Eunice, Si Rong, Jason, Cheryl...and some other people. Dr. Benard's sermon was quite good...in fact, it was really good. The best that I've heard in a while =) After that I kind of rushed off without saying goodbye to a few, sorry for that! I had to rush off for an interview...which never happened cause I bailed out :P So it was me, robson and leroy. We went to NEW YORK at city-link. The food was pretty expensive, and came in small portions...so you can imagine how I felt... After that, played some pool with Leroy and lost accidentally after pocketing the 8 ball early in the game haha.

After all of that. I think my daily motion is going to getting a sudden jolt...because...I finally found a job! =)
I guess i should also mention my recent obsession with Korean dramas. Where have you been all my life! WIth saying that, I should also mention that I've fallen in love with Kim Tae Hee. She's the most beautiful woman i've ever laid my eyes upon....

01-Don't Forget (IRIS OST)

2010-06-27T11:29:00.000+08:00

Everything in Moderation

2010-06-26T22:45:00.001+08:00

Since the last time i've blogged, a lot of things have happened. Up till now, I havent done all the nesseccary things yet...like get my liscence converted...but I'm pretty proud of all the things i've managed to do so far. I think living here is teaching me how to be more responsible and accountable for my own life. I dont have Dad or Mom or Rachel to depend on quite as much any more. Btw, I still need your help with the college applications rachel =)

I have to say, the recent obstacle that really got to me was the NAPFA test. It seemed realistic at first, but upon doing some workouts in Singapore i soon realized that the conditions are so much tougher then in Tucson. The air is heavier, so i have to take more breaths in between push ups. The humidity kills me, I make buckets of sweat every day...literally. But thank God, who provides all. He gave me: Eminem, who sang: Lose Yourself. Its all about setting your mind to anything and achieving it. So before the test, I took a couple of listens to the song and just went all out. And I passed! Thank God =)

So recently, i've been going out quite a bit. But my grandparents don't really mind, so thats all right in my book. Last time I saw Darice and Robson, we were at Timbre. A really chill place to chill...after 8:30, cause thats when the band comes. Otherwise you're stuck drinking beer and ordering more cheesy pizzas :P gross. Beyond that, I have been hanging out with the old crew again. But things seem to be a little expensive these days. I think im just used to seeing small digits in terms of $. Overall, K-box was fun. But Seoul Garden...I'll think twice before going again. Lucas knows why.

I have also noticed a trend. Maybe a pattern that will continue... every time that i've come to Singapore from America, floods have occured. I dont know why, maybe in a very wierd way...I'm like Moses. My grandpa says its good luck that i bring. I kind of miss my parents and siblings.

This picture still makes me laugh!

Its not cause you look funny in real life Leroy. Its just cause you look really funny here.

Singapore

2010-06-10T09:40:00.000+08:00

Finally. I am back in Singapore.
I need some time to adjust to things. Everything looks so opposite now. But I am glad that I am home

Colbie Caillat - I Never Told You

2010-05-29T03:04:00.000+08:00

Graduation. Graduated.

2010-05-22T01:59:00.000+08:00

Congratulations class of 2010. We have finally graduated.
The last bell has rung in IRHS for us all to move on from the comfort zone of home and high school. This part of our lives may end, but a new chapter has yet to begin. This is OUR HOUSE.
Thank you mom and dad for all the support and the push you gave me to succeed. I needed drive and motivation, and you cared and provided. Thankyou.

Graduation Present from: Rachel Tay

2010-05-17T04:14:00.000+08:00

An Ipod Touch for my graduation present. Thank you Rachel. =)

Dare to Dream

2010-05-15T12:30:00.001+08:00

The last school bell has rung for all seniors to move on from this comfort zone. It was only yesterday that i remember walking down the hallways confused and scared, not kn ow where my classes were. It was only yesterday that I made new friends: Riley and Tim. But through the years, we have all grown up so much. That to this day, we still remain close friends...dare I even say BROTHERS. There must come a time when we must all go out into the real world and really let our abilities be tested. As i walked through the campus today, I was overwhelmed with feelings of excitment, joy, sadness, confusion, and fear. But all is not over, because after i walk down that stretch, onto the stage to recieve my diploma...a new chapter of my life will begin.
"A man's spirit is made by his life experiences." - Into the Wild

San Diego-Undiscovered

2010-05-04T07:19:00.000+08:00

San Diego.
One of the best places for food, good view, and a good time... that is if you know where to go.
Rachel and Kevin are back home now, so we all went on that trip together. We stayed at the Navy Lodge, which was surprisingly very comfortable and homely. We went to the harbour the first day and saw some pretty spectacular sights like the Air Craft Carrier and the Battle Ships. Also the view of the city was really awesome. Next, seafood. Wow. Amazing. Filling. Enough said.

the next day we went to Sea World, the 4th time for me. But looking at all the sea animals arent so bad, they never seem to get old. We got on some rides, became completely soaked after Atlantis, and went to eat some chinese food downtown.

thats all there is to say now. Soon enough, i will be back.

Butterfly Fly Away

2010-04-22T09:05:00.000+08:00

The countdown has begun. High school will almost be over...as soon as it is over. But even in this term of days left, the motion of life begins to slow down. The eagerness to graduate and move on, seems to slow down time itself. We can hear our breathing, feel the heart beating, see the clouds rolling in the sky. We take time to realize the beauty around us, everything that has changed the same we have. But also some which remain the same, while we have grown. Moving on isnt simply just another phase in life, its a completely new chapter. An open book, filled with empty pages to fill out future memories...ones which will be happy and ones which will be sad. There comes a time when words just cant be enough to express what we feel. In terms of actions, our body paints our emotions onto the canvas which is known as the world.

Never have i felt so tight, so cramped, so sluggish before. Mixed with that is the anticipation of freedom, of opportunity, of new life, of fresh air. All these feelings mixed together is like a whilwind in my head. Steadily, i am realizing the truth. There is only so much I can contemplate before I have to take action. There is only so much to say before I have to actually do. This frightens me, and im not afraid to say it. Its the truth...people are afraid of change. They oppose change, they fight against it as if the change will crush their worlds. But hear this...change only happens if you accept it. A catterpillar will become a butterfly, there is no doubt...that is what God has planned. But if that catterpillar doesnt want to fly, it will grow wings...but the wings will grow useless. If the catterpillar doesnt want to be a butterfly, it will turn into a butterfly, but still live like a catterpillar. Just because the world wants you to change, doesnt mean you have to accept it. You can take on culture, you can wear what culture wants you to...but you dont have to embrace the culture, you dont have to accept what culture wants you to accept.

LIFE

2010-04-10T12:54:00.000+08:00

Man..It's been a while since i last wrote about LIFE. I know how sometimes i can be too in depth, maybe even reading too much into it. This quarter for english, we are reading and learning about Buddhism. Its an ancient religion that practices 'self' not the worship of gods. An individual must find his/her own enlightenment, a path to journey. It definitly makes me wonder my journey in life. I believe in the Son of God, Jesus. I believe he is the savior of the world, and that he loves me. Truth be told, I dont really know what he has in store for me. A part of me wants to have a plan, but the other part wants to live the life unknown.

Am i rebellious? Do i want to live like i will die tomorrow? Maybe not all the time, but yes...i wish i could. I will let the music play itself out, and maybe add my own harmony once in a while... but as it is, life is a symphony. Music to my ears.

What do i think about love? I've been in love...i've been fooled that i was in love. And strangely...I am still in love. Don't even ask me why, because i dont know the answer to that question. But somehow, i do know that I am in love...even when we are not together and I think about you all the time. Seperated for this long, i thought i would lose my feelings for you. But no.... I'm still the fool. I'm still blinded...and i even believed the lies you told me. Were they sincere? who knows...good thing im leaving though. I'm not running away from my troubles, just running away from you.

Prom 2010: Unmask The Night

2010-04-07T08:16:00.000+08:00

Prom Night part 1

2010-04-05T11:31:00.002+08:00

Well, yesterday was prom. It was fun!
We took pictures, got into the Hummer Limo, went to Michealangelo's for dinner (very good pasta), went to prom at the La Paloma and danced the night away.

Pictures coming up soon

Last Minute Decisions

2010-03-28T13:13:00.001+08:00

Whoa. Its been a long time since i've posted...but its not like any one reads my blog any ways =/ hahaha.
Alot of things have been going on these past week. I made a last minute decision to go to prom on monday, and its next saturday! Good thing my date was cool with it, and good thing i even got a date. But today, all of the guys sat down and talked it out. We finally came up with a schedual and made a reservation for Michealangelo's Restraunt.

Im excited, stoked...but also a little bit nervous. My date doesnt know anyone in our group except for me, and I did take her out on a date once...that's as much as i know her sadly, lol. I hope she feels comfortable and I will definitly try to make her night go well.

Im going to graduate soon! I've already picked out my cap and gown, only 35 more days of school left, not including weekends. And i will be back in Singapore soon.

And oh yea! I have pictures of my new home here!

My Home!front of the houseStudy roomCommon roomTop view of the playroomLiving room Kimberly's bedMy table Parent's roomIsaac's bed and Isaac sleepingBath tubBackyard

Psalms 51 ... When David seeks forgiveness.

2010-03-16T14:40:00.000+08:00

Im thinking that life is too short not to live it.
Life is a journey to crawl, walk, jump, run.
Only the ones who succeed know the true pains of failure.

My family and I have tried out the new church right across our house called Casas. The worship reminds me so much of hillsong, and the preaching is alright. But its been sometime since I felt God's touch on me. Every sunday is a sanctuary. Lives are saved, souls are touched. The very presence of God sets my path straight for righteousness. God is love, not hate. God is peace, not destruction. God is in me, God is in you.

Why... why do memories torture me? Why do i let other hurt me, and still...hide my pain within myself. The more i try to forget, the more i remember. The deeper i fall in to that trap i set for my self in the first place. It's not fair, but what's fair in the first place? There were lies in the midst of truth, false accusations in the presence of innocence. I can't do this to my self any more...I can't let my self treat me this way. I must forgive, but not forget. Forgive, but still remember. Forgive but release the chains. Freedom...let freedom reign in me. I dont stand alone. I am not alone.

Paintballin

2010-03-14T06:42:00.000+08:00

Its the start of Spring Break! A full week of vacation.
I started off break today by going paintballing with Tim, Riley and Lisa. It was Tim's birthday so his parents paid for all of us =)
Its so much fun, but a little painful. I really felt like i was in war, and fighting for survival. My favorite moment was when Riley and i flanked the left, as the only two surving in the group, we swamped the other team and took the victory! Try it, its fun.

Satisfaction

2010-03-07T09:33:00.001+08:00

Went skiing again today for 8 hours. I finally know how to do the parallel turn! Nice, just like the professionals. We tackled the intermediate courses today, and did all of them. It was unbelievable. I even skied down one of the expert trails. But now my body is sore, but i've conquered a fear of the mountain. That is satisfaction

Mountaintops

2010-02-25T13:49:00.000+08:00

School's out for a couple of days! Its a break that i will take graciously.
As winter comes to an end, spring will fall back in... the season of love will fall back in.
I miss being in love.

Happy Chinese New Year

2010-02-15T13:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year.
Its the season of family, friends, food, and MONEY!
I've been getting a lot from each =) I didnt expect to get red packets here, but i did.
My parent's friends gave me money, and of course i was a little hesitant. But who wouldnt take it...

Fun with out the Boooozzzeee

2010-02-07T16:26:00.000+08:00

Tonight was one of the crazy nights. First off, we started the night by going to the movies to see Sherlock Holmes. It came out a couple of weeks ago, but i never got around to seeing it. But, it turned out to be a good movie, a good story line, and a complete picture. Case in case, it was typical Sherlock Holmes, but why not? I give it a 4/5 review for good picture and rachel mcadams =) After the movie, we (tim, riley and I) went back to Riley's house to play left 4 dead on the x box. We played online as zombies killing the people, good game...but creepy. Then we got bored and hungry and went to pizza hut for the Any size, Any topping, And way You Want It pizza for $10 whoo hoo. Tim and I took some hot sauce with the pizza...least to say he cried, I had some sweat, he cried more, and he sweated more. Good for you Tim! haha

We paid the good waiter his money and left for the park. Now the crazy part begins. Initially planned to toss the football around, but riley thought us a really cool game. Readers should try this!

Stand around in a circle, and locate a boundary around the circle of people maybe the circle in the centre of a soccer field. Look to the person on your right, and that is the person you are going to tag. Take note of the person's face and shirt color. (fun part) Now, the leader tells every one to spin around as fast as they can for one or two minutes. Then someone says stop and every one has to look for the person they have to tag, and no one can run outside the boundary.

That game was soo fun, especially because the park was empty and no one was there to see us. It would have been wierd if the cops came and thought we were stoned or something, haha. But good thing riley's brother was there to play with us, so it was more fun. Eventually we became a little quissey from the pizza early and went to a local supermarket to take a piss. We parked, then started dancing in the car to hip/hop music. A lady walked past the car, so we did what we had to do. Turned up the music, lower the windows and danced for the lady, haha. She tried to ignore us and walked away, must have been an awkward situation for her. So we went to take the piss and went back to riley's house to play some more party games on the wii and gamecube.

I think when people get enough of school, stressed out, or just plain through with school, they should just chill the weekends and do what they gotta do, until monday again. Thats the joy of life,

Discretion. Heavy Thoughts

2010-02-06T13:06:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since i 've written about the my thoughts. I think time to time, the momentum can lead to speed, when really we need to slow down. I find my self very stressed, leaving my self in awkward positions, all because i dont know how to relax or be calm. I dont think tea nor a message can help me through this, it has to be that i'm thinking too much. I realize that the curves in life are like stop signs, it is a road that needs control not speed. Ever heard about the story of the tortoise and the hare? It's about similar to the race in life, not like there is anything too competetive about it any ways. The turtle kept pushing, driving himself, and motivating himself in the belief that he can out run the hare.

Recently i am doing a book project on The Last Lecture. I actually recomend this book to all you readers. One quote that i drew me was:" If someone has stopped trying to discipline you or help you change, that person has given up on your life." I think the only person to ever give up on you, is yourself. That brings me to the topic of religion. All religion, save for the extereme ones, share beliefs of changing a man to become a better person. This type of teaching is found common but expressed in different forms. Christianity, states that you who become whole in the spirit and find a relationship with God will enter the gates of heaven, which is a utopia of a believer. I stress the point of relationship. I have slowed down enough to realize that the church can teach different things. Many preach about abundance, many preach about a new life with god, but few preach about the honest love of/for God. You must understand that my position here gives me no right to bash any church, and that is not what my point is. The point is that, when there is no genuine love for God in the first place, there can never really be any form of stable ground for teaching. I think love can be aquired if sought, but cut short when blocked.

It is easy to be caught in the hustle and bustle of church life, that saving people has become a business of profit and gain rather than out of compassion and love. Do you sincerely reach out to your neighbors, or are you doing that because you dont want to let the church down. Do you want to become a part of the growing system, or do you have a genuine love for your freind that you want to spend eternity with them? I believe that this hustle and bustle is the cause of misconceptions of visions and prophecies. I love God, i really do. But such kind of a business-like-branch-concept is simply not working out for me. Where can i find God peacefully and really catch his presence? The bible says its in your secret place that you find him. I'm not going to debate about this, because really.. there is nothing to debate about. If you read my blog, which i also believe is very few people, you must know that i am subjected to my own opinions and you yours.

Slow down. Take a breath. Have you noticed the scent of the air around you? The sound around you? Listen to your heart and your brain...because when both work together there is nothing you cant do.

Sparks a Fire

2010-02-01T12:00:00.000+08:00

So i woke up at 6 am this morning, packed and my dad dad drove me to Hong Chong's house (dad's collegue) then they drove up to mnt. Lemmon for the ski trip. It wasnt a long drive, but when we got there at 9:30 am, there was no parking space and we had to park on the main road. The rentals for the skis was so long, we stood in line for 3 hours. It wasnt long until it was our turn to rent, and by the time we did, our intentions for a full day skii turned out to be a half day from 12:30 to 4. But it wasnt so bad after all. The runs were ok, but there were better ones in the white mountains up in Show Low. The intermediate course up there was reasonable, but the one on mnt lemmon, was just near impossible. I went down once with out a wipe out, but the second time..when the shadows crept... i biffed it twice. And twice this lady had to help me get my skis on my boots again. Just stadning vertical on the slope wasnt enought to keep me from slidding down the mountain. It wasnt long until i was very tired, ate dinner and came home.

Vegas

2010-01-28T03:58:00.000+08:00

Got back from Vegas yesterday.
That was pretty much my 100th time there. I dont like it only because it smells there and the people are rude.
Well, the good thing is, i got some tennis gears including the new adidas barricade racket! Yes.
However, i will not be joining the tennis team this year. Its a big decision for me not to participate any more. But honestly, im really tired of competetive tennis. What-ever happened to the good clean fun tennis, perhaps it got lost in the midst of haughty and proud players. Well, I'm in it for the fun, not the stress. Pictures soon.

Loving Life

2010-01-21T08:21:00.000+08:00

A couple of days ago, my family and i went up to the white mountains. We went up with 3 other families, and stayed two nights up in the lodge. And it was THE best. The lodge was so homely and comfortable, and the snow was prestine. Best of all, I went skiing, and i found out that im pretty good at it. Chris and I took an hour of lessons, after that i took on the mid-level mountains by myself! It was all good, but now i'll let the pictures do the talking

More pictures in Facebook!

Bug in Motion

2010-01-15T09:18:00.000+08:00

Alright! 250 posts already.
i dont know how many hours i've spent in fron of this computer screen and this site, just rambling on about my day and my thoughts. But its very theraputic..."someone" to talk to when stuff doesnt feel right. I like to share my good times and bad times with my blog, and to the readers. Of course i appreciate the attention, hahaha.

Well, its almost the end of week 2 2nd semester... and already, i feel dead as bug. Im struggling. Its not about keeping up, but staying with the program. Man... going to school every morning is like pushing against a brick wall...its tiring and just bad. I dont think i've ever been so negative and deadbeat about school. But alls good because i have things to look forward to in the weekends. Like this week: Im going up to the white mountains to do some boarding and eating. Im so looking forward to the trip, and all must go smoothly! Its been a long time since ive seen, felt, or tasted snow. But i know once i board down that hill, im gonna feel like a million bucks. Perhaps get me ready for school again

This year, my last year, i have decided not to join the tennis team. It was great last year, but also competetive tennis sucks the joy out of hitting with friends. You know its going to be bad when players throw their rackets on the ground and start cussing. I'll see you again when i feel like blogging, but for now. Take it easy and walk the line.

Plaintiff

2010-01-08T11:19:00.001+08:00

Whats on my mind this night? I dont have answers to the questions life throws at me. There are somethings that i want, but i know i cant take. I believe it is easier to let go, than to hold on to something for a long time. That is me, but that is a part of me that is changing. Right now, it is not confusion, but rather a loss of a feeling that i once couldnt let go... but its not excatly clear to me what it is.

I just feel right now, that the world around me is changing so rapidly... its gonna take me a while to get up and run with the motion. Im struggling with my own confidence. I remember when i used to be so optimistic about the future and about life in general. To me, i have become less opinionated and more kept to myself. This is a safe refuge for me, to stay silent and not let any one bring me down. But who am i kidding? My future is determined by myself, and slowly by the help of God. Is religion a safe place for me to hide? I would rather seek my heaven in the arms of Jesus, who is love.

I havent had a good sleep for days now. I wish for one, just one dream. Do you somethimes feel like you're all alone, left in a state when no one cares for you... or maybe just want to run away? I feel that same. But the difference, is that i realized that running away from a problem prompts it to come back bigger. I'm pretty much in a phase... thats what im in. Im not stranger to love... im no stranger to sleepless nights...and im no stranger of thinking too much. Squeeze too hard, and it'll explode. So how do i hold?

Happy New Year: 2010

2010-01-01T16:08:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year. This year i have only one resolution and one wish:
Find a real relationship with God.

Too many false testimonies out there, and there are a lot of decievers that choose to falsify their words to influence others. But I dont want to listen any more, I want to feel for my self. The true love of God. That is the real love, to start a relationship from scratch. Thank you for a good 2009. 2010 will be great =)

The Move

2009-12-29T14:46:00.000+08:00

Moved into the new house today. It took 7 hours of hauling, but its done. Now the hard part is putting all the stuff into the rooms and make em look good. :/
Tired. But alls well that ends well. Happy new year soon.

2009-12-25T07:15:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas

Hidden Corners

2009-12-03T09:29:00.004+08:00

So, ashamed as i am to say, among the midst of unpackingboxes as i moved to america about a year ago, I lost the posession that meant so much to me: The cell group's scrap book. But now, as i am yet again moving to anoher house, my mom happened to see it stuck in the corner of my closet pushed against cushions so it was safe. I think it was my dad who put it there. But you know, things always seem to come back most when you need them most, especially memories. Almost...a miracle.
I read through the stuff you wrote to me, and it brought back good memories for me.

Julia: I know i know, i've finally proved how much of an ass i can be. haha, =) . We may not be on the best speaking terms, but thanks. Thankyou for the support, thankyou for memories. I will reach for the stars, the same way you will too.

Daniel: Life in many ways, is extremely complicated. But whats a good life without bad times? I've been through the rollercoaster road with you, and daniel... look at you now. I am happy to hear that you are doing a course that you love. Go for your dream, nothing can take you down.

Jeremy: Jeremy! I miss you buddy! Im having a great time over here, but i cant wait to be back in Singapore, no lie... i dont lie. I will definitly give you a call when i get back

Lucas: Thanks for the speech in the scrapbook =) I agree with you, friendship is forever. "Farewell but not good-bye." Certainly, I will give you a call when i get back to Singapore. Much is missed.

Darice: What can i say? Thanks for this thoughtful gift. Many things have changed, people have moved along. But one thing i hope in people that will ever die out is love. That Darice, i can definitly safely say you have overflowing. So put that love thing in a container and share! =) See you in a while

Ivan: Hows it going funny man? I havent seen you in a while, nor have i seen the others also. Hows that cooking of yours coming along? We'll meet up when i get back =)

Ying Hui: Hey miss america! How'd you like the place? Not so bad huh... haha, i wouldnt be surprised if you got attatched to it. Tell me everything, email me or something!

Xue Ni: Hello. I've read your blog, and all seems to be alright. How are things going? Tell me, i wanna know =) or dont tell me if you dont want to, haha. Keep in contact, email me or something

Xue Wen: Hows the little girl of the cell group? All grown up now? =) Believe in yourself, and you can go far. Oh.. and go for your dreams. What do you want to be? Share! haha =)
ake it up. You'

Eunice: Shre a good friend Eunice, and you make other people know you are a good friend also. I don know about being the most annointed, but you can bet i'll reply your emails! So check that inbox

Nick: So, hows my very dark and also very attatched friend doing? I'll see you when i get back. Then, we can make some college plans =)

Leroy: Hey drama geek. Whats all happening? You seem very busy with your drama stuff, and i get you. And dont be drinking too much without me! Whats the drinking age again? I've made plans with Lucas to go to hooters already! haha =)

Keli: Hey. You look extremely happy in the picture in my scrapbook. =) Haha, kinda makes me want to laugh too. I'll see you when i get back. So hows things in poly? Get a girlfriend yet? ;) We can meet at hooters with Nick, Lucas and Leroy. haha

So im actually gonne move to a two storied private house on rent. The people living above us keep making awful love, and they want the whole family to hear. Soo, my mother was prompted to move away from such disgusting love making. I also have some pictures of recent things, so lucas can see them because he doesnt have facebook.

A Whole New World Duet

Haloween With Baby Isaac

Thanksgiving With aunty Kin

Holding Beers with uncle Bill

Epic hurdle for Dive Team

The Dive Team (Maria, Parker, Me)

Turkey Day

2009-11-27T13:47:00.000+08:00

Thanksgiving Day!
Nothing like sitting out with the nice cool weather and stuffing myself with turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, green bean casseroll, dinner rolls, pie, wine, more turkey, more ham, cranberry sauce, pie. And then moving inside to watch Hangover again. That movie is soo good and soo funny.

Check these songs out:
Fireflies - owl city
She is love - Parachute
Hey soul sister - Train
Fallin for you - Colbie Calliet (or however you spell it)

A couple of days ago, a motivational speaker came to speak at school. His speech was about drugs and dreams, but i loved how he didnt talk about drugs too much. Too often, speakers stress "DONT DO DRUGS" or start to point fingers at people. He simple told us his story about his abusive past, and told us stories about other people who have been hurt, abused, emotionally and physically. Here's a couple of the stories he told us:

A football player who stood 6 ft 6 in, was a football player in 8th grade. He had quite the football team, and his friends had ditched him and started calling him names. In the hallways, people would call him a fag, a pussy, a pansy, an asshole, a retard, just because he had quite the football team. But he had his own reason for quiting the football team. It wasnt because he didnt want to play any longer, but it was because of family issues. Every day, he would come home from football practice just in time to feed his siblings because his mother was a drunkard. Every night his father would also come home and beat his mother. You see, he had no choice but to quit. He chose to leave the team to support his family and protect his mother. The team had judged him based on the surface, they didnt bother to learn about his life, they judged. In my opinion, even though he was 6"6', he was definitly the strongest person in his team.

A cheerleader confessed to the speaker that she was using her body to get closer to people. She was finding love in all the wrong places. In school people called her a slut, bitch...all kinds of bad names. But really, all she wanted was love because she didnt get it at home. She would rather hear, I love you fake, than not at all.

You are not emo, a slut, a bitch or any name some one gives you. You are who you are, because no one knows you better than you. In any situation you face, and hear someone call you a name. Dont let that bring you down, because all they know is....nothing. NEVER LET ANY PERSON STOP YOU FROM REALIZING YOUR DREAM. NEVER LET ANY PERSON BRING YOU DOWN.

Live a day in another person's shoe before you make any judgements. Ever wondered why that guy turned gay? Ever wondered why that person cut? Ever wondered why that person is who they are? If you dont know the reason, give that person a chance to live a life with one less person judging him.
Happy Thanksgiving :) Dont forget, a dream only dies if you let that star in you burn out.

When Butterflies Decide to Fly

2009-11-22T17:14:00.000+08:00

Is it true what they say? Is it true that all you need is love?
I have loved before. i have broken hearts, and i have had my heart broken. Is it a love-hate relationship...love and I? Will it come back?
Its horrible how love takes me on a ride. How much i think of the one that got away, or am i too young to even know that she was the one who got away. Is it a sin to think about the one who broke my heart? Is it a lie to say that i have no more feelings for her?
Im a wreck in my heart. I dont know what i want, i dont know what to do. I dont know what to say, i dont know how to feel. All i know is, i feel like adistant planet...far away from others.
What is true love? Will it seek me again? I know that i wont be able to find it, it finds me. Will cupid send another arrow down my way? To take away the other portions of love i feel for that one...that 1.
"They call her love love love love love.... And she is all I need."

Shakespear and chaucer write about love. My heart spills the same emotions.
Her heart was beating like my heart.
Her soul moves my soul
like the ocean waves crash against the sea rock,
so violently, yet so refreshing.
Her beauty so devine. Its observing the early start of spring
when the lillies bloom to their fullest
Its the moon that becones to the waters
its shiny beams delicatly showing the ripples.
Oh moon,
stay moon. Never go away
you light the darkness
Stay with me, stay with me
Her soft lips singing sweetly
tunes, melodies, symphonies, orchastrating the pulsating beats of my heart
to hers.
Together,
our hearts beat for one another.
Together,
When the world falls down,
we have each other.
If only you would come to realize that,
I still love you.
But you can never come back to me.
You would never come back to me.
Like a biscuit in your palms,
crushed my heart,
crushed my year, torn apart.
But all will be well,
Soon, i will love again.

2 Stories and a Thousand Lemons

2009-11-15T12:14:00.000+08:00

You know, they say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Life is like a book, it has a spine and pages to read. It can be open, it can be closed. It can be a journal, it can be a diary. It can be happy it can be dark. Whatever mood it is, my book is always open, waiting for the rain to wash away the letters... so that i can write new ones again. You see, my pages never run out, not yet any ways. There is much more of me that wants to see the world, that wants to look at other people, that wants to feel love again. Too many bad things have happened, also too many good has come. Its not what you get, but what you give. That is peoples' mistake. They want..want..want. But hardly ever think how...how...how. Somewhere in this world, the cheap shoe you're wearing is made by a small child working his ass off to make that crap shoe of yours cheap. what color is it? Green? Blue...or maybe even yellow? It doesnt matter, as long as you get.

She was walking along the river bank when i first saw her, and there she was again. Long curly hair flying in the wind, long silk dress dyed in light blue that patterned the shiny blue of her eyes. She was beautiful, not overly done, but beautiful. And that was the first time i laid eyes on her, and loved her. Love is like a fragile being. Beat it, abuse it, take it by force and its gone like sand in the wind. Comfort it, be patient with it, hold it, it blossoms like a lilly in early spring. I approached her, each time i did, my heart beating faster than before. She looked at me, I looked at her. Deep into her eyes i looked, but her... she looked right through me. She looked right through my hollow body, my invisible form of human. She couldnt see me, but i could see her. A subtle breeze blew across the medow, whistles from the tress accompanied its swaying motions. It was then that she cried. She cried her first tears in a long time. Streams of tears flowed like a waterfall down her rosey cheeks. Tears dripped from her eyes like rain in an autumn night. She wanted to stop, but she couldnt. She wanted to be brave, but now she couldnt. I stood away from her, watching her weep. She looked like she could use a shoulder to cry on, but i didnt have one. All i could do was watch... remembering the times we shared together. All our evenings were filled with laughter, smiles, drinking and occassionally a kiss from her to me that made my day all better. We were lovers, but she was a married woman. Too often had she been away from home that her husband became suspicious. Rampage, as if a demon from hell, he hit her how a man should never hit a woman. He beat her like a dog taking a lashing. He cursed at her as enemies do. I was there at that moment, all I wanted to do was protect her. But i failed. She laid there bloodied and bruised, and i laid there dead. She knelt over my body, even in death i could feel the warmth of her hands. I miss it. There she knelt, on the medow, in the presence of lillies, she cried. She cried for me to come back, she cried for me to lend her my shoulder. She cried out my name, all i could do was watch. I am nothing but a soul in despair, but she has despair in her soul. We were lovers, now we are worlds apart

The mood is changing around here. The chill is dropping in.
p.s. if lemonade doesnt have sugar, its lemons altogether.

Singapore

2009-11-08T17:31:00.000+08:00

My nephews are leaving for Singapore tomorrow. Its kinda sad and kinda exciting.
Im gonna miss having hem around here, but its going to be a new surrounding for them all over again. Its pure excitment of going back and meeting your family and friends again.
I'm anticipating when i get back to Singapore. But at the same time, i dont want to leave this place behind. I have Army to "look forward" to... and a new life to live, and i have to grow up more.
When i was at hotel room, my nephew Alex was talking with his friends. One of these friends used to be his girl friend. They were just hanging out like old times. But when i saw her, her eyes were red from crying... i knew that she cant bear to let him go.
There are some people i cant bear to let go of, and the goodbyes will be sad. You never know whens the next time you'll see them again. Sure there is IM and Skype... but there is a need for a physicall attatchment. Well, i know now how i will feel when i head back to singapore. Its going to be a really sad night for me, and then a really happy morning.

See you later Max and Alex, have a safe trip. And ill come visit you soon!

Pumpkins and Chocolate

2009-11-04T09:04:00.000+08:00

Whoo! This week is half days. At least I can get a minor break from school.
I think im suffering from senioritis: the condition of slacking as a senior. I just wanna get out of here. Of course, i have to do well first, graduate then get out. Its beginning to get really hot. Today it reached 90 degrees F. Not the right temperature for fall...damn

Halloween, i dressed in orange. Nothing special in that, but who cares. My cousin dressed up as a fat man, he had bubble wrap around his body. And he trick or treated with a tray full of chicken nuggets. hahaha. Then after trick or treating, we went to the movies to see Paranormal Activity. It was THE most scary movie i've ever seen. So freaky...

Im done with the senior project... but i think i've done something wrong with it.

Now Im in a whole new world with you.

2009-10-31T09:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night was one of the best nights in the world.
3 weeks of practicing the duet song, has led to one of the best vocals of my life.
Rachel Hubly and I sang out duet song: A Whole New World, and Donggi played the piano... and what'da you know... I was the closing the closing act =)

We sang, and sang our hearts our. And after, soaked the applause from the audience. Been there, done that.

HAUNTED CORN MAZE

2009-10-26T03:01:00.000+08:00

AHHHH!!! I've been blog raped! ... but curiously, i like it. =)
Well, yesterday was soo awesome. I went to Buckelew Farm with my cousins. We bought tickets for the haunted corn maze and the regular corn maze.

Haunted Corn Maze
So we entered. THe entrance was one of the scary parts. We were stuck in a dark room, and all around us people the walls were making creaking and scratchy noises...after 5 mins of intense darkness the door opened were we were greated by a werewolf that scared my aunt.haha. It was open field so as were walked, i could see the night sky. I was in front, so lead the group. The haunted corn maze had a series of mini haunted "houses", the was a: revolving wagon, optical illusion bridge, completely dark maze, stobr lights with hanging pigs and dead clowns, evil clowns chasing after us with a chain saw, a room filled with air bags and a low ceiling so we had to crawl and squeeze. So in the end, after 25 mins of screaming my lungs out, and breaking a cold sweat, we entered the actual corn maze.

Corn Maze
We were all given a map to find the way out of the maze. We looped and swirled around the maze for 30 mins before we became frustrated and finally decided to try to find out bearings. It took us another hour to find the way out. It was actually the worst... confusion of finding yourself at the same spot each time. I felt like i was in a horror movie, repeating the same scene over and over again. It came to a point where my cousin and I picked up some corn stalks and attatched our torchlights to them to make it look like light sabers, and we fought... and ohh did we fight welll.

Today is Isaac's 3rd birthday party, his actual birthday is on tuesday. Happy Birthday little brother =)

Sup bro.

2009-10-26T01:32:00.000+08:00

Lol, don't mind me invading your blog for a bit. But we all in Singapore miss you man. (: And hope you are doing well in US. Oh yea, and this is gonna be posted so you better take it down and replace it with a new post. Hahah, Halloween is coming up soon. Do dress up and take pictures. No excuses!

Cheers bro!
LeRoY

(This was all just for fun. (: I still remember!!! OMG!!!! I am amazing. XD)

NIGHTFALL

2009-10-18T19:01:00.000+08:00

Its 4 am in the morning.
I just got back from Nightfall! Its October and close to halloween, so we celebrate.
I went to Old Tucson with my aunt, uncle and cousins. Paid to enter, and so there it was, the theme park of horror. Except there were no rides, but 3 haunted houses and 3 shows. It was kinda cool to walk around the park, being greeting by ghouls and zombies. =) People were screaming every where, young girls, big girls, small boys, big boys...

My favorite part of the theme park was the Old Mine haunted house. It had a special part in the haunted house where there was a rotating wheel and a bridge. When I stepped onto the bridge, i felt like my entire body was spinning around and around. Ultimate high, haha. It was so fun, we went back to do it again.

The shows were cool. One of the shows we watched was the hypnosis. The "master" pulled volunteers up onto the stage and slowly began to hypnotize them, and the participating crow also. The hypnosis method was to relax the people. That part, was no hypnosis, it was a form of stress reliever, which i did partake of and felt the tension released from my body. It was great! =) After the shinanigans...boring part.... he commanded the volunteers to do crazy stuff. He made them all believe tissue paper were $100 bills, and told them to hide them in their shirts and pants! Its was hilarious. He could command a lady to pretend she was Pamela Anderson and another guy a shoe thief that literally stole other people's shoes on stage. The show was funny, but I dont think i fully believe in hypnosis. In my opinion and a fair others, the people on stage were acting out and just being a fool on stage to gain attention. I dont know, but it seems a little phony to me. Well, maybe just because im skeptical about such things. The truth is, a person can only become hynotized if he/she allow themselves to be.

So after all that fun, and a whole lot of pictures we went to IHOP for pancakes and headed home. I'm sorry I ditched Marina! But sometimes plans just dont work out as it is, maybe next week.

Joy Ride

2009-10-14T01:16:00.003+08:00

Hey guys,
Rather than some random shorts post of my life, I'm gonna make a random long post of my life. :)

Well, summer has gone and autumn is in, and it feels so darn good! Its cold in the mornings, just nice in the afternoon for a good read on the hammock, and cold again at night. To me, its the perfect condition for living. The leaves are turning red, some of them any ways. People are taking walks now. Its just simply beautiful.

Yesterday was the start of a week of fall break. I don't have much to do actually. Just sit around at home, read, do homework and play wii. Yesterday I did hang out with friends though. Went to the movies to watch Couples' Retreat with Riley and Marina. The movie was funny, but meant more for couples than just an ordinary comedy you catch with friends. I felt like i was sitting through a couples confession and therapy session at times. But over all it was good, maybe a 3 out of 5.

After the movie we went to Devan's house and then went to Riley's house to play some B-ball. Devan decided to give us all a "joy" ride in his car. He took off down the neighborhood at 60mph and did doughnuts and almost ran into cars, scared the crap out of me. :/ I'm not looking forward to riding with Devan anytime soon again haha.

I just got done with a really good book by Mitch Albom. This author is probably one of the more genius authors you will ever get to see in this lifetime, because of his simple ideas that make people think deep. Any ways, I read: For One More Day. And its basically about a torn out baseball player who became a salesman. He has a broken family where his relationship with his mom and daughter has become almost entirely ruined. He attempts to commit suicide one night and finds himself in his old hometown and meets his dead mother. His mother teaches him about things he never knew, like the simple sacrifices she made for him. Like, becoming a house cleaner to get him through college (where he quit), kicking the dad out of the house to protect him and his sister, and simple acts that most of us forget. He learns also about a dark family secret, that his father had another family when he was still married to his mother. The years he had hated his mother for chasing his dad away had been revealed, and he seeks forgiveness. During the time he meets his mother, every thing in real life was happening in slow motion, as if time had stopped. He comes to consciousness, and years after that reconciles the love that he has lost because of forgiveness.

I think its a pretty amazing book. In under 200 pages, he had managed to tap into my consciousness. His other books are pretty amazing too. :)

So how's life everybody? Its good to know we're all still breathing, but what happens between breaths? You tell me :)

Sing Away

2009-10-09T12:13:00.002+08:00

Today we performed.
It was a good feeling to perform in front of a crowd. The choir sang well, we all sang well.
All the men dressed in the tuxedoes and ladies in their dresses. It was good effort for a month that finally paid off today.

Pain is 90% in the mind

2009-10-06T23:56:00.002+08:00

So yesterday something happened.
I was on the diving board and i slipped and fell off the board. Not only did i fall off, but i also cut my shin (leg) open. It wasn't painful or anything, just the shock of getting out of the water and looking at my leg. It was all white around the cut and you could see the bone... AWESOME!
SO i went to the hospital, and here comes the worst part. The doctor injected some stuff into my wound. The most pain I've felt in my life, right there in those 30 seconds. Needle into the wound, not good. And then she started to wash and then stitch up.

I think I've learned a valuable lesson from this: Always wipe the board before a dive, cause its slippery. And look into medicine, because its a rewarding job.

Summary

2009-09-27T05:37:00.002+08:00

This whole week was spirit week, so people had to dress up in certain clothes to show their school spirit. Yesterday, i dressed up as a spartan.
I went to school in a towel as a cape, homemade armor and a head band. After pep assemble, all the guys who dressed up like Spartans went to the bridge to block the lower class men from going to their classes. It was epic! Haha, just like the movie 300. We held on to the bridge with a whole lot of pushing a shoving and shields being destroyed, it was pretty fun although i got injured in the field of battle. Some person stepped on my foot.

At choir, we played sushi tag. Its a game where the is an outer circle of people, and each person has a partner who sits in front of them, its kinda like an outer circle and an inner circle. only one person doesn't have a partner. He/she has to call out 2 people sitting in the inner circle, and the 2 people have to run over to touch his/her hand. However, the catch is, their partner has to do whatever it takes to hold on to them and not let them go. If a partner loses his partner, he has to call 2 people.. so on a so forth. I got some serious rug burn and bruises from wrestling.

We got new people for dive whoo! 4 people to be exact. =)
After dive practice, Tim and I went to the watch the homecoming game... and the football team lost. WHO LOSES THEIR HOME COMIN GAME?!? embarrassment to the max.
I got a ride with Ryan, and going out of school, some truck rear ended the car, and Ryan got whip lash. "Best" part was... the truck drove away... hit-and-run anybody?

So today i woke up at 530 to drive to school at 630. The dive team took the bus with the swim team down to the UofA to attend the Speedo/Nike invitational. I've gotta say, i dove pretty OK. And the judges are sooo corrupt, or maybe they need glasses or something. They didn't call bulks, they gave 0's to divers who certainly did their dives. The judges were Pheonix coaches, so they pretty much gave more points to their team. If a diver from Tucson dived the same dive as the Phoenix diver and with the same form, the Phoenix diver would score more. Any ways, coach understands the situation and I take it as an experience to improve on my form. Its not easy diving.

Tennis, tennis , tennis

2009-09-21T00:40:00.002+08:00

Wow. I got my ass whooped in the tournament.. hahaha.. but its all good.
Probably the worst draw that i can have.. first round: #1 in my school. Consolation round of 16: #5 in the tournament. oh well. At least i managed to win at least 1 game in the whole match haha. Looking forward to much more improvements

Corrections of Pain.

2009-09-18T11:58:00.002+08:00

Don't I deserve a father who treats me like his son?
Don't I deserve a mother who can ease my pains, and comfort me?
Don't I deserve a father who understands my problems? When I need to be held, he will be there to hug me?
Don't I deserve a life of parents who support me and not find every fault in me?
Where is God in these situations?
Why don't I have a mother who understands my concerns?
Why don't I have a father who supports my sports? Instead of shrugging his shoulders at me after a hard day in school.
Why do I have a father who daily preaches to me but never treats me with love and respect?
This is why I rebel, this is why I hate. This is when I slowly become a little mad on the inside, and my world is turned upside down.
Not even God wants to bother,
Not even they want to care.
No matter what anyone tells me, I'm not loved....
Not yet.
I'm not fully cherished...
Not yet.
This family isn't meant to last.
Even the brother will rebel, some day.
One day I will break free from their chains of darkness holding me down.
Someday I will discover that God didn't..doesn't exist in this household...
Maybe somewhere else.
One day I will know that they all secretly plotted to bring my doom, knowing my weaker sides.
Today i know that they laugh at my mistakes,
Today I know they provoke my past relationships and cut over the scars of a once healed wound.
It's no one but me, just my grief, my sorrows, and my will to live.
Nothing strengthens better than tears.
Don't I deserve a better life?
Don't I deserve to be loved as well?

Moderation of Silence

2009-09-14T03:23:00.002+08:00

Nearly fell sick yesterday.
The Shack is a wierd book. I can hardly keep up with the complicated thoughts or opinions about God and Life. It makes sense sometimes, but how does the author make such a comparison?

Math is really getting in my nerves..

Yellow ball, Blue court, Clear Skies..

2009-09-08T13:27:00.003+08:00

Time to go back to school after a 3 day weekend..
I've just been watching lots of TV, Playing a lot of games and doing some work.
One thing i have to mention is a teen sensation in the US Open: Oudin. She's 17 years old, and has made the quarterfinals. She's a true giant slayer. Standing at only 5''6' , she's remarkable good at ground strokes and can easily handle pounding shots from her opponents. Already, she has defeated top ranked players. Its inspiring to know that she believes in her self, and believes she can win. Its all about self perseverance and belief in yourself. Her tennis is awed, but her attitude is he weapon.

I've joined the USTA, United States Tennis Association. So i can play some tourneys and maybe win few matches. My first dive competition is this Wednesday... Gotta make a "Splash!"

Happy Birthday Ivan.

I Gotta a Feeling

2009-09-02T12:48:00.002+08:00

Its a new month.
Tomorrow mom and Rachel are leaving for Canada. So its me, dad, kimbery and isaac in the house.
Next week is my first dive meet...im nervous. I just cant get the inward dive down. My favorite is the back-flip dive. =)
Time to party it up... maybe go out on a date or something. Who knows when Ill work up the courage to ask all over again. :/

Mountains

2009-08-28T10:57:00.002+08:00

I don't get why people always find a way to quit out on me.
Do i carry a disease that people don't want to stick around me for long?
Its frustrating to think and know that friends are not always there for you.
Its saddening to know and feel the hurt that friends don't support you, even when you support them.
I want to do this. I am committed, but why aren't they? They say one thing then do another.

I am alone

Famous followers left behind

2009-08-27T06:46:00.002+08:00

Chemistry test on friday... oh boy. Im not even the slightest bit ready.
English project... too long

The season is changing. I can feel it. Its starting to get cooler and nicer in the mornings and evenings. Sign of change

Love

2009-08-24T14:18:00.004+08:00

So busy.
There a ton of homework to do, I don't even know where to start. Argh, I hate this senior English project I have to do, it makes me mad just to think about it... an 8 page essay regarding my thoughts about a book. That's a little too much? I don't know, maybe all these work are piling up on me. Somehow, there is an empty void in me. But going to church makes it better.

Rachel is going to college soon, so after 2 weeks, no more chem help. Haha. Oh well, we all have to grow up someday. I want to grow up, but still, I don't want to grow up. I'm gonna get my driver's licence in 4 days, that will be pretty exciting.

I've met some pretty crazy people over here already. Some of them my friends. But i don't get a lot of things the people do here, or even more how they react and think about situations. I mean, as Christians (I'm talking about believers) we know that God created every one, so he loves us all. How can we judge based on morality? Even as we think we may be the premium example for others, it doesn't give us the right to hate upon others who are not like us. Homosexuals, goths, special educated, all have the right to be respected also. Are we allowed to hate when God doesn't hate them? Are we allowed to pass judgement when their time of judgement hasn't come? Are we allowed to condemn when God hasn't condemned? Are we deliverers of wrath, or ambassadors of love? I wanna believe that I am person that loves others, even when they are not like me, or not near perfect. I am not sinless, but their sins do not weigh as heavy as mine. We are all equal, in a sense, God loves us all.

"Judge not that you may be judged. For with that judgement you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." - Matthew 7: 1-3

Lets love one another as God loves us. The biggest thing a person can ever do to another, is to sacrifice. Love, is the package that wraps the sacrifice. Jesus said "For those who are heavy laden, rest upon me." Thanks you Lord, for giving us hope and Love.

Swim on

2009-08-20T09:18:00.002+08:00

I didn't make it into the swim team. I got cut.
But strangely, I'm feeling good about it... well, not YAY! happy jump up and down happy, but just satisfied with the results. Maybe its an early sign that I'm gonna be better, who knows?

I just want to get better

What I am, is not what I should be

2009-08-18T12:55:00.004+08:00

I'm not losing faith,
I'm not where I should be,
I'm not where I can be,
Where I am,
Is in a place where I'm me,
I'm in a place where I'm hoping for more,
More to discover.
Where I am, is never giving up.
That is the real me.

Getting a Tan Under the Shade

2009-08-15T11:21:00.003+08:00

Oh man. Busy busy busy!
There's math homework, early mornings to get to school an hour earlier for tutoring, after school swimming. Its all a hustle and bustle. This is what makes my life so unique. Many people have a tight schedule, but i chose to like this, in truth..i love it.

Its finally the weekend, but there are Saturday swim practices. Gotta wake up at 8 tomorrow. I'm tired, from school and practice. But its all good. I have my books and family to keep me company. Even playing some baseball and tennis on the wii =)

Whats bad is...i have a horrible tan line from the swim suit...

Pulsating beats of the Heart.

2009-08-07T08:09:00.002+08:00

Its back to school.
First day of school is always the fastest and the easiest. The time where introductions are made, and teachers lay the ground rules. For me, it was getting up early in the morning after a late night of tossing and turning... trying to sleep under the dum drums of the fan twirling above my head. It seems that the more I try to fall asleep, the more I'm awake. I become sensitive to the sounds that surround me. The ticking of the clock, the random whirls of the air condition. What ever it was, it was keeping me awake.

So I woke up and dressed, drank my breakfast (a cup of milk), had time to read the papers before heading out to the bus. Traffic jams are the worst during school days. The dread of sitting in the bus, in motionless form. Listening to music and watching non-existent people walk by. Becoming more and more stiff and uncomfortable in my own skin. It was hot in the bus, I was already sweating on to my clothes. Men have a curse, especially Asian men. They sweat a lot, too much around the arms to be comfortable. It leaves an acute stain on clothes, but non-the-less embarrassing. In what seemed like forever, the bus reached its destination and came to a halt. By the time, the bell had already rang... so much for meeting my friends in the library before school. I went off to class. First period with Mcaheiny, AP Calculus BC, highest level of math in high school. The day went by fast, Anatomy and Physiology, English (which I found rather dull since I was sitting away from my friends), Lunch, History (with an extremely spontaneous teacher), Choir (weird), and to end off the day... French.

I convinced my friend to drive a group of us down to burger king for a drink. A usual after-school activity, where we socialize and talk about our day. I also managed to convince him to ask the cashier for a Big Mac. Which he did. I was most amused by this, so I laughed Haha. No its home, and some work to do. Its a good day after all. Its a good day, every day.

Love is a Battlefield

2009-08-04T06:11:00.003+08:00

Dhipan and Dhineash came over to Tucson for a visit. Who are they?
They are my childhood friends, from way back when I lived in Texas. We used to play so much together, and our parents are good friends. It's been 10 years since we met, and they came for a visit on their way to California.

So we brought then to an Indian restaurant then to Mt. Lemon since they wanted to go. It was soo nice up in the mountains. Dhineash and I went up on the ski lift, the ride was 30 minutes long, haha. Also a little bit scary looking down.

Hands down, one of the few highlights of my summer. And its coming to an end. School starts on Thursday.. and I have to get my schedule fixed :/

YOUTUBE!!!

2009-07-29T06:38:00.003+08:00

So my cousins slept over for 2 days and we had a blast!
I formed a duo with Alex, younger cousin, he played the guitar and I sang.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO6A3LQ8Vys

View the other video as well by: mralexandmrshaun in Youtube.com

Comment, be honest so i can improve, but don't be hurtful! =)

Count your blessings!

2009-07-27T13:12:00.003+08:00

I'm watching Joel Osteen. A preacher from Texas. He had a very strong message today, that spoke to my heart.

A lot of times, we can be fault finders. In every situation, we pin point the bad in the good.

A woman looked from her house one day, and saw her neighbor's yard. It was filled with dirty clothes hung unto the clothes line. She told her husband that very day: "That neighbor is one filthy lady, i cant believe she would let her children wear such dirty clothes." The very next day, she looked into her neighbor's yard again, and yet again, saw the same dirty clothes, and yet again shook her head and criticized the neighbor. One day, she looked into her neighbor's yard and saw that the clothes were as bright as could be, clean, spotless, and shinning. She called her husband over to look and asked him: "Did she learn how to wash the clothes...finally?"
Her husband replied: "No honey, I cleaned the window you're looking through right now."

You see, most of the time...and maybe all the time, we find faults in other people. When the fault is found in ourselves. Criticism is an internal issue, which many of use have yet to acknowledge and cure.

Don't allow your mind to be poisoned by other people. When they begin to gossip and criticize a person you are getting to know, walk away. Don't let other people give you a bad portrayal of another person, when you can get to know them better your self.

People have developed a nasty habit of seeing the negative. Finding the cracks in a marbled floor, complaining about traffic on the free way, complaining about the egg when it's fried the wrong way. Why not: Look at the house and look at the 100 good things rather than the 1 bad thing, Thank God for the car you are driving, Thank God for having an egg to eat.

A man told his wife one day to make him scrambled eggs. His wife served the eggs to him. He took a look at it, shook his head. His wife asked him:" whats wrong now?" He said to his wife:" You friend the wrong egg."

People respond to praise rather than criticism!

I know all of us know people that have criticized someone for wearing the clothes they wear, having too many tattoos, or having that kind of hair. Next time they criticize and say: " If I were them, I wouldn't do that" YOU tell them : "Here's the clue, you're not them. Don't judge because you haven't walked in that person's shoe."

I want to pray for the person, not gossip about them.
I want to see the good, instead of the bad.
I want to praise, instead of criticize.
I want to honor God with my speech, instead of using it to poison other minds.
I'm not going to be a fault finder, Instead I'm going to give the benefit of doubt

Remembering....

2009-07-22T02:53:00.004+08:00

Wow.
Looking back on my first post [March 8 2008] gave me shivers. I'm actually able to keep this alive for more than a year.

I can also imagine myself writing on this blog, with feelings...pure feelings. Nothing superficial on this blog, nothing that I regret writing. I've grown so much in this past year or so. So much has changed around me. I keep thinking if things keep changing, what remains constant? Will love remain constant... between friends I mean...

I've had many failures in my life: Getting D7 for E-math, doing so poorly for mid-terms that my parents had to go see Mr. Mak, Falling out of love, Robinette putting me down..not believing that I could even pass the AP Calc Test, Loosing friends.

But I've also had many accomplishments: I got an A2 for E-math for O-levels, I ended up doing really well for my O-levels, Falling in love, Achieving the highest grade possible for AP Calculus test, making new Friends.

Life is an up and down relationship with your mind and emotions. Do I like where I am now?... YES! Do I want to change anything in the past to make things better now? Answer is ... No. I've made mistakes a lot in the past, but its a life process in learning how to correct these mistakes. Changing any thing, just any thing in my past, will make me a different person. But I am who I am today because I made those mistakes, and also because I learned how to deal with them. I'm comfortable with who I am, what I am.

My friends in Singapore...please give me a call some time you know? I'm still your friend right? SO BETTER KEEP IN CONTACT! :/

Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince

2009-07-18T02:57:00.003+08:00

Harry Potter was soo good!
It was funny, exciting, mind boogling and scary. Remember when the undead grabbed Harry's leg? That freaked the hell out of everyone in the theatres. You could literally see them jump up from their seats. Hahaha...
I still don't get what the Half-blood prince has any thing to do with the plot, except that Snape is the person. Why is it the title of the book?

Recent evens have become less complicated and more at ease, at least thats how I want to make of it. Anyways, does any one know how to get a six pack in 2 weeks? I've been trying, but no avail.

In moderation of perpetual things

2009-07-12T13:43:00.003+08:00

I'm confused. So many thoughts running through my head.
So many emotions left unheard of. Too many lingering thoughts that poison my mind.
What am I doing?
How can I defeat this ... "thing" that keeps coming back.
Its feeds when I'm hungry
It sooths when I'm in need of soothing... but just for a while.

But it does not give me shelter when the rain pours.
It does not comfort when I am in pain.
It does not realize or care about my ambitions
It does not tell me I am good enough...

Instead, drags me deeper into something horrible that boils deep inside of me.
What can I do to save my self from total destruction?

Is it too late to turn to you?
Is it ever too late to run back into your arms?
Is it too late to get help from you in my weakest moment?

I need you. NOW.
More than ever. I have not been totally honest with myself and you.
I can fool every one else, but you are the mirror that reflects my soul.
With all my heart now,
I can say,
I need you.
I want you.
Don't leave me, because I know you never have,
You never did.

Sin City

2009-07-09T02:46:00.002+08:00

I'm back from Las Vegas.
We spent 3 days there, filled with shopping and eating!

I actually enjoyed the shopping cause I got to shop for my self. There was a huge sale at Adidas, ever pair of shoes in the store selling for US$30! SO I got a pair of shoes for my self and daddy got a pair for me. I also bought a Red Sox hat from Nike, and its awesome! and a Red Sox lanyard to put my car keys =) Whoo!

The hotel was also very nice! I had a nice view of the pool. We went to TODAI seafood and sushi buffet the first night. And it was sooo good! I love raw food. So a buffet with oysters and sashimi can easily, satisfy me. The next afternoon, we went to Chinatown to try the food at a "Malaysian" restaurant. The wanton noodle was OK...not that great. I miss Singapore food a lot!

Check my facebook for more pictures!

Silence is not the majority.

2009-07-04T07:25:00.001+08:00

Call me.

Pimp sunglasses

2009-07-02T08:09:00.002+08:00

Its been a little boring lately.
Mosoon season is rolling in... the air smells of rain and mud. Fresh Air. I need that.
Nothing is going on around here, it seems pretty mundane. I feel like taking a walk outside. Get a breather, think about life you know?

People quit on me. Its like im left to do things alone now. Can i still trust people, and what they say? Who are my real friends now? Honestly, i cant wait for a fresh start all over again. Senior year is about to come up, and im anxious to see what its going to be like. After high school, its gonna be the army. Then what after that? Its all a simple mystery but still a journey to fulfill.

Im getting along better. Life doesnt come easy.

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

No...thats not the bathroom..

2009-06-29T02:20:00.002+08:00

So I passed my driving test. I went on a 3 hour drive, at 8am in the morning. Tired, but very alert. The insructor gave me my Cirt. But i can only get my licencse after 2 more months.

I've taken a liking to drinking. Haha, with my sister. =)

Kick some robot ass in Egypt

2009-06-25T14:11:00.002+08:00

I talked to Mia Boostrom today on Facebook. Haha, she's kinda famous, look her up on youtube.
We talked about her life and her singing career...and she is a very sweet girl. My age too. And she is a RED SOX fan also!!

Transformers 2 is so kick ass!
Every thing is perfect about the movie. Humor, action, and sexiness. That's right gentleman...Megan Fox is so HOT. God i want to meet her. Those eyes, lips and body....hahaha. =) Movie was so awesome i give it 3 thumbs up. (Taken was better though in my opinion)

A moment to think....

2009-06-22T14:14:00.001+08:00

I watched The Notebook

Love doesn't die.
Love doesn't quit, people do.

God keeps on working, even when science doesn't.

Who's counting?

2009-06-17T12:19:00.002+08:00

Hey guys,
Today
I went to Tim's house to watch Tropic Thunder. Everyone else arrived and i was surprised with a birthday cake and balloons =)
Thankyou Tim, Maria, and Devan. I'm truly touched that you guys care about me enough to bake me a cake... get me a gift card...and balloons. You guys are such awesome friends. I'm glad to have met you guys =)

So we had cake and ice cream. Watched the R rated movie, which was very funny. And then played some rockband. I showed off my screamo skills, probably spat every where...hahaha. Then we played Trivial pursuit.

Rachel is home.

I still Love you...

2009-06-16T08:42:00.002+08:00

Hey guys,
So I didn't have the best birthday in the world. But I'm good.
Summer is passing by slowly, but at times, really fast.

Yesterday I played baseball/softball, and I'm not very good at it =(
Never the less, every Sunday night.... Saseballers get together to play. And ultimate Frisbee too.

Today I hung out with Conor, my buddy. it was his birthday today, so we went to play tennis and swim at the pool in my apartment. There we saw 2 really hot girls :D
So i went up to say hi to one of them, we traded names and talked for a while. She has a very nice smile... oops, i forgot her name. Hahaha.
Altogether, a good week. Had its ups and downs, but whatever. I'm still alive and well.

17

2009-06-14T08:45:00.002+08:00

Hey guys,

17

Didn't do much today for my birthday. But I'm fine with it.
played tennis in the morning. Then went to practice lap swimming! I can do the flip turn now, makes swimming more exciting. =)

It feels the same to be 17. Just a greater level of maturity, i don't feel my self growing taller though. Haha, I've reached my peak height.

Thank everybody for wishing me a Happy Birthday! I appreciate it =) and thanks for remembering, or looking at facebook that reminds you. haha, either way, I'm happy!

Crying is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

2009-06-13T13:40:00.004+08:00

Well,
VBS is over. I'm a little sad, through this week i made a connection with them. I hope this experience will lead them to share God's love with others. Children are special to God. The younger you are, the closer you are to heaven.

I'm now trying to fill my mornings with volunteer work. Charity, library, VBS and other sorts of volunteer stuff. I love doing them, and they also look good on my resume. Rachel is coming on the 16th of June....yay =)

Today we celebrated my dad's and my birthday at the Olive Garden Restaurant. I had some really good soup, and very good beef ribs. But some very nasty cheese rice. I have learned how to eat butter, drink cream soups, and cheese burgers =) That I'm very proud of.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY. My old man, is just growing older every day. Now he needs glasses already.... boy oh boy. Hahaha. i can finally watch R rated movies legally now! Whoooo hoooo!!!

God's love is always with us...

2009-06-12T08:49:00.002+08:00

Hey guys,
VBS is so awesome! I love leading the children so much =)
They are obedient, listen when I'm sharing a bible story and participate in group activities all the time. TIBERIUS! This is the best group there is. My group is also the biggest, i take care of 14 children, age 9. I have 3 helpers that do running for me. The kids are so cute and adorable also. Man, I didn't know that doing such things with kids would bring such joy. Thank the lord for these 4 days, and tomorrow is the last day. The kids have had such a wonderful time, and i thoroughly enjoyed every single moment of it.

OK. So besides all that... I have been packing my day with activities such as tennis, swimming, movies and sleeping. How am i dealing with the breakup? I'm doing GOOD! Couldn't be better. I'm still uncertain why we broke up... but who cares. My focus is still on the same things, my goal is still the same. And my BIRTHDAY is coming up in 2 days =)
i wonder what treasures i get.

P.s (Lucas, the new Spongbob episodes are getting lame and ridiculous... Spongbob's voice isn't even the same any more.... =(

A chickling learns to fly from its mother...

2009-06-09T22:44:00.002+08:00

Hey guys,
WOW. Taking care of 14 nine year olds is tiring!
I'm the camp leader in Vacation Bible School for the group TIBERIUS. Fortunately...the lady had to give me the largest group. The children are very cute however, and love to have fun.
I went through the day, with no form of training. So Day 1, in my opinion, i was hanging with my fingernails through the day. Thank God, with kids, there is never an awkward silence. I had to constantly look through the booklet, and see if i was doing the event right. The setting, decorations and casting is excellent though. Funny thing about the children...all the girls listen to me, and the boys don't. Maybe i should get a pretty girl to draw their attention. I hung out with 3 of the boys today though, they are very smart and have their own opinions about God.

My duty is to help them form a stable spiritual platform where they can grow from.

Yesterday went swimming, I can finally swim the freestyle..and i can do it fast too!

In all foolishness, the sand is washed away

2009-06-07T13:12:00.002+08:00

OK. So in the state of extreme boredom and foolishness, we made a complete idiot of ourselves today. Devan and I were driving around, and we decided to visit some friends at their homes. First off, we visited Marina. Bad idea. She wasn't home, Devan drove to the intersection to drive away. In the distance, Marina's car pulled up and we said hi. for some reason, i thought it would be fun to follow them with the car. So Devan sped after them and made a U turn around the neighbourhood. This obviously creeped them out. And i feel horrible for doing that to the girls... awww man! Why am i so stupid?!?! One bad decision after another. I feel like i just ruined everything. Girls need their space right? I don't think after tonight, my chances are very big.

Man...i don't know why i do these things. I come to regret it after a while...and i am extremely sorry for being such a creeper.. MAN. I don't roll like that.
I hope things will get better over the summer. Things have definitely changed............

Tenacity is a keystone to Perseverance

2009-06-04T15:04:00.002+08:00

We are young, but not naive...
She hasn't changed at all, still the same perfect girl to me i knew 5 months ago. Why has things become so complicated now? I respect her decision: "lets just be friends for now" we have our own ups and downs... this time it has really taken its toll. However, i agree with her. She needs time to balance friendship, and the relationship was getting very serious...too serious.

But whatever it is...I'm waiting. I choose to wait. Until she comes to a final decision...i will continue loving her, no matter what. Its not easy to shake this off... I'm happy no matter what. In fact, right now..even through the tough news, I'm happy. I'm the happiest guy in the world! That's because i have great friends, and that's what matters. A relationship at this age is...extra. I love her, and will always. Even if i cant see her that much, even if she needs her time, even if she doesn't love me any more... i will continue loving.

Nothing has changed in my heart, because i followed it. Things have changed in my mind, of how I see the world. God, you are my all.

In the evening watching the moon

2009-06-02T12:24:00.002+08:00

Hey guys,
I went swimming today. Before that i went to Lisa's house to check out her pictures...
So we went to the YMCA to swim some laps. Maria, Riley and Tim were there to swim also. We prettyy much swam for 2 hours... dead tired after that.

Went to Costco for hotdogs and drinks. Went home after that.
It was dissapointing to see Andy Roddick lose to Monfils... oh well, you win some...you lose some.
Wasted $20 on getting my racket restrung.

Im training for swimming season. Going to join the swim team, so far, I haven't quite got the freestyle down. I can only swim 2 laps before getting tired...lame.

I dont know any more...are things different?

A firefly waiting its turn....

2009-06-01T09:43:00.002+08:00

Hmm... My minds giving me weird thoughts..
I'm thinking a little differently now.
Does this mean I've reached a full maturity?
Or does this mean I'm changing?
Either way,
I'm less emotional...less moody.

Afternoon at the Museum...

2009-05-30T00:48:00.007+08:00

Hey guys,

Its been a week into summer already! Well, i think my summer so far hasn't been too bad :D

I went to get new contact lenses cause my eye sight is deteriorating.... and on the way, I got my first DEBIT CARD :D Yay... now i can manage my money like an adult. One step towards adult hood.

We went to the Desert Museum yesterday. I gotta say, it was pretty fun :) Isaac had a good time, Kimberly was scared about every thing... she almost cried when a butterfly came too close to her. Hahaha, and i also told her humming birds would poke her eyes out.

My dad and I are considering tennis training for me. This guy, George Peskey, trains top players. So he might be able to help me out... he charges $40 an hour, a little bit expensive, but still payable.

So I've pretty much been watching tv, reading, listening to music and playing with legos... yup.

So its all good, for the time being...cant really imagine myself playing with legos all summer long. They'll be BORING.

September sky...turns white and grey

2009-05-27T23:27:00.004+08:00

In the end of things, the end of life...seems like the beginning. Where do we all start? Do we start at the the starting line, or start at the finish line? ... both seem comparable. As often as I think as far back into the past, I hit a wall.... there is no way to know for sure what was before the stars and the planets. The universe is vast, is there a wall that bounds the universe...a barrier to hold every thing in place? What if this universe we are living in, is in the shape of a ball...much like the earth. And there are multiple other universes, far bigger and wider than ours. Whats the beg ginning? Whats the end?

The way you can ever start to know about these truths... that'll be the day. Perhaps that was why Eve took the apple, she was tempted to know, just like the rest of us.

In the end, people around us effect our lives. Even strangers can change our course in life... or maybe, shape them.

What if a lady was having a bad day, and she was a school teacher or a business women. What if that lady was going through some tough times, and felt no one cared about her. What if the lady need someone to lift her weight, her sorrow. Walking on the street, i wouldn't know that. But what I know is that a simple smile from me to that lady can brighten up her day. As a school teacher, she feels ready to teach the children and show them an extra ounce of care, maybe pass out extra pieces of candy. And a child goes home, elated, hugs his quarrelling parents and brings an end to a lingering divorce. As a business women, she would work well that day. Type as fast and smile to others who are having a bad day as well. The company will profit in the long run.

Strangers. What are they? They are Family, waiting to become acknowledged.

Love. Its different to every person. What is this? It's something pursued by men and women alike. Love is mine, love is hers... universally, Love is OURS.

"Every one has a different story to tell, but the stories...become one"

in the eyes of the beholder....

2009-05-26T00:23:00.003+08:00

Hey guys,
Its 4 days into summer already. It feels exciting yet a lingering sense of mundane fills the atmosphere. I refuse to allow my summer to become swallowed by boringness and mediocrity. Lisa left for Costa Rica yesterday, but before she left we talked a lot. I'm unbelievably comfortable with her... its like, i don't know. I never experienced this type of closeness before. As new as the things are to her, they are new to me as well. We're taking things slowly, day by day. As long as we avoid SEX, we are in a safe relationship. Our body is God's temple.

I'm glad we could talk about our issues. We did it in the best way possible: Playing a game :D
We were texting each other, so we played Truth. So lemme fill you guys with my answers, if you get bored reading this... then wth are you doing here in the first place?! Go out side and climb a tree or something.

Who has the most influence in your life? - Darice, because she changed me.
Would you rather be blind or deaf? - Deaf. Eyes let you see the splendors of the world. I'm much more of a visual learner than a auditory learner. Although I love music, the simple view of the sun setting on a beach and the snow on the top of a mountain is priceless.
If you could be any body who would you be? - I would be... myself. I don't know. I just never really wanted to be any one else, cause I'm me. That what makes ME special.
What are you most afraid of? - I freakin HATE cockroaches. The only thing in this world that i hate. Freakin disgusting.
What is one thing you have to do before you die? - Visit Paris with my girl
What bothers me the most? - When people aren't honest with me. And when people are afraid to talk to me.
When you are in a special moment in your life, who are what comes across your mind? - i think of Lisa. Not to be cheesy or anything... but she's always on my mind. When I'm in that special moment, i want to share that very moment in time with you. Even if you aren't there with me, I wish you could be. Example: Winning my first tennis match.
What is the farthest you have gone with a girl? - Lisa. Hmmm... yup. (inappropriate topics. hhaha.. NOT)
Whats your idea of a perfect date? - I'll drive of course. I'll pick the girl up, we'll go to the top of a mountain. Have a picnic on the grassy area, dance and snuggle after. All this at night and in a nice weather of course.

Then we did a whole bunch of other questions after that... but i wont get into that. I want to play tennis, but I've successfully broken my racket string for the 5th time. Stupid K-factor.

I Love You.

I believe

2009-05-24T14:11:00.002+08:00

I believe.
In the midst of a crisis I believe.
Through storms, I believe.
I believe in the power of LOVE.
I believe in the power of worship.
I believe.

This evening. I realized, how much you mean to me. More than the world.

Its the start of something new.....

2009-05-22T14:53:00.004+08:00

Hey guys,

School is officially over! 5 months have passed...and oh have they passed by well :D

I lived every moment. Breathed every moment. Experienced every single moment. I'm a SENIOR now!!! Its exciting... I have mixed feelings. Both sad and elated...mostly, happy that I am able to move on and become more mature. Summer is here as well. Lisa is going to Costa rica for a week. I pray for a safe and good journey to follow her, and that she will have an awesome time in Costa Rica :D The drinking age is 18 years there... so Lisa... try to take it easy! :D

The first day of freedom... well spent. We had a Shaun-Lisa day today. It was drizzling, and the weather was perfect. Chilly and nice. Picked up subway, ice cream and headed to park for a picnic. Some kids behind us were facing us, and closing their eyes.... awkward! So we left and took a walk around the park. We talked about our future...school, army and such...

Rented Titanic to watch later that night. We were watching TV, we got to bizzare foods with Andrew Zimmerman and I saw that he was hosting the show in Singapore! I was sooo happy to see Singapore again :) :) It looked so clean and awesome. Of course Lia got to see it too. Im so proud of my country. He ate fish head curry, chilli and pepper crab. He didnt really show the heart of Singapore though...like the city area and such ... he went through china town and little india. So, whatever... Should have showed CHC in my opinion.

We watched Titanic until 11:30 that night... and her mom chased me out of the house! Hahaha..kidding. The family LOVES me... im not even lying. I cooked for them and washed their dishes :) I'm a mom pleaser....=____="